When I'm young, I had a dream of being a doctor as a future career. At least I know I have to study and work hard to make it come true.

When I'm older, I know that my future career and whatever I'll be doing must be related to my interest. Well, least I'm still working on it.

Now? Working for my study. Weren't I supposed to go step by step? I don't know what to do now except for getting tired and feeling lethargic. Everything is biting me off bits by bits.

I know I have friends, family, especially my boyf who will help me fix my scar.

But no, not really working, when family is already a major problem for me at the moment.

& every now and then, the thought of losing my boyf have been haunting me. I'm not a low confident person, but I just love him too much I guess, when just a hug from him can stop me from crying, stop me from feeling anxious, stop me from thinking so much and calm me down in whatever things.

Yet recently, whenever I feel down or when my world is falling apart, sometimes all I get from him is so not the reaction that I expected or he once has on me. Or maybe its just me thinking too much, if not I'm too much a weight for him to handle.

I tell myself to stop showing the child temper, but he's the only one I could still show it to. You can't expect me to show it to someone whom I just know or friends who knows me lesser than he does, or even family who already left me hanging.

Please tell me what to do.